2011/04/20

salesmen

Throughout my 30-odd years in the working world, I have until now easily avoided working in sales and even with salespeople. Not only that, I was happily insulated from them in the drafting room.

I've long suspected an ... um ... well ... maybe a dark force behind most of the successful salesmen that I have known, but I didn't realize until yesterday that it might be real evil. OK, maybe not evil, but a complete lack of empathy for others. Antisocial Personality Disorder. Example: pushing to close a sale on a cold call despite having been told that you are interrupting dinner.

Occasionally somebody will say "yes" right off the bat; "sure, I'd be glad to donate." Cool! But, if they don't say yes, dig in like a fucking pit bull.

Old people. People on disability. Unemployed people. People who just told you that they can't pay their electric bill, much less $20 for some anonymous cop fund. Close the deal! Talk nonstop; don't let them get a word in edgewise, or "they will try to sell YOU reasons why they can't afford it - all that matters is for you to sell to THEM!" In other words, they aren't really disabled/unemployed/retired, they are shirkers who just don't want to part with their money. They'll probably spend it on something frivolous like bread or heart medication anyway.

Jesus Christ on a cracker, I don't know what world those salesmen live in, but the people I talked to on the phone Tuesday night sounded mighty sincere about being disabled/unemployed/retired and, since most of Florida's population fits into one or more of those categories, I had no reason to doubt them. Most of the people I know around here fit into those categories.

I just can't do it. When I came home from work on Tuesday night, I was determined to hold out until they fired me, but that was just the bile talking. My health is more important than this job or any job. One should not have to leave work angry and one should not be forced to do something so antithetical to one's core beliefs.

Even if I believed in what I was selling - which in this case (since learning about it) I most emphatically do not - I could never succeed in such a high-pressure sales environment without losing a significant part of my soul. I would also need to drink a lot; that is out of the question.

Today I will go in and let them know that I am definitely not suited for that job. My conscience won't even let me string them along, collecting a paycheck, until they figure out that I can't do what they expect me to do: heartlessly squeeze money out of people who can ill afford to pay.
Posted by Jay at 1:48:00 AM

4 comments:

  1. BillWednesday, April 20, 2011 at 2:42:00 AM EDT

    I'm afraid I don't debate with telesalespeople - I just politely tell them I am hanging-up, then I do so. Unless it's a call from a foreign call-centre I then add them to my 'choose to refuse' list (a service I pay a little extra for) so they can't call me again. This works even with with-held numbers, although not with international calls. Err ... that's how I deal with it ;) Sorry.

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  2. JayWednesday, April 20, 2011 at 12:23:00 PM EDT

    No need to apologize! You are, in my opinion, handling these calls correctly.

    I do my best to be polite, but from now on I will be telling them all explicitly to put me on their federally mandated "Do Not Call" list. There is a button on their call screen to do just that.

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  3. AnonymousSaturday, April 23, 2011 at 3:47:00 AM EDT

    I remember when I worked at OTR (On Target Research). We didn't sell anything, we just took surveys. When I first started working there, the manager actually told me, and the group with whom I was training, that if a client was especially belligerent about being placed on the "do not call" list, we had to hit the "call back later" button. I was quite shocked about that and made sure I put everyone on the "do not call" list, even if they didn't ask me to do so. I lasted for a little over a month there before I told them to stuff themselves. Not literally, of course, but I just couldn't stand to work there anymore. I didn't even make all that much. I think I received about...$100~ per week, maybe? Somewhere around there. Since I worked there, I've been as polite as possible to telemarketers so I don't end up on the "call back later" list. Now, people who stop me on my way to the bank, on the other hand, I have no problem getting into it with them. I had one guy telling me the $.50 per day for the "Healthy Heart Foundation" was so amazing and no matter how much I told him that I could afford only the train ticket to work that day, but not the ticket home, he still badgered me until I called the mall security on him. The next day he was there with a bunch of Green Peace people. I told um everything I knew about climatology (I had time, as it was my day off). Once I had finished, the girl who was with him started to cry and he suggested they pack up their stuff and go home. I was very proud of myself.

    *Typed while listening to Karn Evil 9*

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  4. uzzaSaturday, April 23, 2011 at 9:48:00 AM EDT

    You go, Jay. World needs more people like you.

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