Dick van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore

TV Land is running some nice retrospective shows tonight

In my humble opinion, Mary Tyler Moore is the most beautiful actress ever to grace either silver or TV screens.

She is also remarkably talented; an actress for the ages.

Dick van Dyke is an extraordinary talent as well. Plus, he's a Dutchman - and that's always a good thing.

Most people don't know that there is an inpatient rehab center named after Mr. van Dyke; it is in Seneca County, NY (cow country). The former Willard Psychiatic Center in Ovid, NY was closed and was reopened as the Van Dyke Addiction Treatment Center ("Van Dyke ATC"). Phone: (607) 869-9500

I rode my bicycle past the Van Dyke ATC once. I rode my bike from Elmira to Watkins Glen, where my folks picked me up. We had a nice weekend camping at the old Sampson Naval Base (Sampson State Park occupies the old Navy grounds); they had picked up my kids from my ex-wife's place. The kids and I rode bikes all over the closed Navy base, visited the museum (the government tested sonar and submarines there during WWII); we had a great time.

At the end of the weekend - after serious hugging and a few tears - I headed south on my bicycle, they headed north with the kids and the camper. I now had a 50 mile bike ride ahead of me; it was primarily downhill until I reached Watkins Glen, so it wasn't so bad. I even had some great downhill rides at high speeds. The Van Dyke ATC was just a few miles south of the Sampson State Park, and it looked rather like a prison.

Mmmm ... Mary Tyler Moore ... if she showed up at my door today, I'd make serious love to her.

Nah. I'd chicken out, let her use my phone to call Triple-A and say "bye." I wouldn't even have the presence of mind to get a photo or autograph.

But in my mind, I would make love to her for weeks afterward.

I guess I'd better buy some Kleenex. (Sorry for being so rude, MTM)