oh, what a world

Here I sit, awash in tears - just as Lisa is - feeling sorry for ourselves and fearing the future.

Dad and Velma called to invite themselves over for a visit, which I gladly accepted, but Lisa cannot face them. She feels such shame (as do I) that we borrowed money from them but will probably never be able to pay it back.

I called to tell Dad that Lisa was not feeling up to it. I would love to see them but Lisa would probably not leave her room if they come over and I explained why. He assured me that we should not feel that way, it doesn't matter, he is our Dad and we have nothing to be ashamed about. I told him they could still come over if they want to. He said "no, we'll just make it another day then," and asked me how my new job was going.

The company expected to require my services for about two weeks but after two days they were caught up with the extra workload. Manpower says that Surge was very pleased with my exemplary conduct and performance; the next time they need help they will ask for me specifically. Small comfort but at least I can accept the praise and two-day paycheck.

When I filled out the paperwork to start the job, I wrote "exempt" on the W-4 form. That way they will not withhold any Federal taxes (I hardly expect to earn enough this year to owe taxes), and I will get the Earned Income Credit next year when I file. Last year I did not earn one red cent and thus did not file because with no income you do not get the EIC, stimulus or refund of any kind.

Still no sign of the June alimony. Lisa's ex has filed a motion for a reduction in payments, which is his right - we have accepted that - but Lisa is so depressed that she wants nothing to do with him anymore and told him that she doesn't want his money. She is so tired of fighting.

That will leave us on the street, of course, but we will still have each other.

I explained to her that the matter will still need to go before a magistrate, and after a couple of days she stated that we will still go to court and accept a reduction in her alimony - but only to the legal level.

And the dogs. Oh, those damnable dogs. Not only do they refuse to be completely house trained, but by the time we returned home last Wednesday there were not three puppies anymore. There were eight.

It was a foolish decision to take the two dogs at all but we were still in mourning over losing Sage and left our common sense by the side of the road.

Therefore, tomorrow we are taking the two dogs and eight puppies to an animal shelter where they will probably be euthanised. We see no other option.

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