tales of airport insanity

with apologizes to Harry Shearer's "Tales of Airport Security"

Comic Kevin Meaney related the following story tonight on "Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn:"

He was trying to pass through "security" at an airport. Now, bear in mind that Kevin is not widely known as a restrained character, and in this particular venue he is acting in the role of a lifetime: husband and father. The ultimate motivation.

So anyway, his wife gets flagged by security because the underwires in her bra set off the metal detector. I guess she's a "full-figured" girl, as they used to say in the pre-PC days. Good for her and good for Kevin, but unfortunately it means "hold on a minute" at the airport.

Kevin decides to videotape the experience, because he realizes what is going on. It's her bra. Comic moment! What could be better! Suddenly, their toddler child decides that now is the time to head off for the concourse. Oh, dear.

So Kevin Meaney, noted comic and devoted father, tries to fetch his wee daughter before she disappears into the madding crowd. The "security" guard tried to stop him - saying "you aren't going anywhere" - but ultimately didn't; once he grabbed his daughter, he turned to find a National Guard trooper pointing an M-16 rifle at the two of them.

Meaney said something to the effect of, "you are all crazy!" and found himself promptly arrested.

Yeah, he has a tendency to fly off the handle himself, but to point an M-16 rifle at a father for retrieving his toddler as she ran off from the "security" zone is simply ridiculous.