Faith in Humanity

Background sounds:
Public Radio International, "Marketplace"
Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, "Left of Cool"

Four days ago, I tripped and fell while walking in the dark on a public path. I injured myself fairly badly; a bad black eye, a shoulder bone in questionable shape. In fact, I knocked myself out cold when my head hit the ground. Fortunately I made it home having lost only my pride and my cellular phone, so I'm pretty sure I wasn't mugged. All of my money and credit cards were still present, and my ever-present pocketknife was also still there, clipped to the lip of my hip pocket.

When the cab driver picked me up at the nearest pay phone, she asked if I had seen my right eye. I felt it, and indeed it was quite swollen. I told her I would see it soon enough, I just wanted to get home. I don't know how long I had been unconscious, but it was long enough to catch a serious chill on a 48 degree Fahrenheit night.

The next day I went back to the scene of the incident to look for my phone. I didn't get back there until the afternoon. The path where I fell is fairly well traveled, so I held out little hope of finding my lost item; and I did not. When I got home I sent a voice mail and a text message to my cell phone saying that I would like it back, giving my home number and name. I didn't mention a reward, but planned on giving one. Within an hour I called Sprint and had the service on the phone suspended until I purchased a new one.

On the third day I received a call at home from a woman who said that she had my phone! She said that she had called her house using the phone and my name had appeared on her Caller ID; she looked me up in the phone book (which lists my home number only). At first she gave me directions to her apartment, saying that she had no car or else she would bring it to me. I said that I didn't have a car either, but would take a bus there. She told me which bus to take. A few minutes later she called back and said that her son would be home from work soon; they would come out to my house to save me the bus trip. She then asked if there would be a reward involved. Of course I said yes, and offered $50. Since she was driving out, I actually intended to give her $70 (the phone cost nearly $200 a few months ago).

I never saw them that night. At about 9 PM, I walked down to the corner store; I was gone for 10 minutes. Today when I got home, she had left another message on my answering machine. She said that she had stopped by last night, but I wasn't in. I might not have believed her except that she mentioned that I had a note on my door: I did. I wasn't addressed to her, but to my lawn maintenance man.

This evening she did come by to deliver my phone. I didn't give her $50, or $70; I gave her $80. It was my phone that she had - I recognized certain scratches and scuff marks.

The battery was dead; the leather cover was gone. I did not care. The battery can be recharged (and when I plugged it in, it started recharging). The leather cover was inexpensive compared to the phone, and it did not make the phone work any better. I asked no questions. I said "Bless you," shook her son's hand, and they were gone.

Once I was convinced that my phone was recharging properly, I called Sprint and they restored my service promptly.

Faith in humanity. Would I have seen my phone again without offering a reward? Maybe not. But, I did not offer a reward until after I had received the call from the person who found it. It is possible, I suppose, that she or her son took the phone while I was unconscious; but why not rifle my pockets for the $100+ and credit cards? No, I choose to believe that the phone was found.

Here's another example, that really surprised me. Readers of my page will understand:

The EPA is going to crack down on diesel engine pollution. In order to do so, by requiring a catalytic converter-type device, the refineries will also need to produce a cleaner fuel. Diesel fuel (kerosene) clogs up these devices, in the state it now exists. Anybody who runs kerosene heaters in their homes or garages knows that it leaves a filmy residue when it burns; and if you've driven behind a semi or other large diesel vehicle, you've seen the large clouds of nasty effluent. It's hard to believe that the Bush Administration would allow something like this to go through.

My guess is that the chickenhawks are too preoccupied with world domination to pay attention to the Home Front. Hardly surprising.

Even arch-conservatives are starting to make noises about "keeping Rumsfeld quiet." The really worrying thing is, he's not alone. And since Kim Jong Il and the Irani hard-liners are starting to bend in the wake of Iraq, the chickenhawks are getting even bolder. They really feel that they're onto something: Pox Americana. They'd prefer Pax Americana, but the kind of peace they would impose is more of a pox.

So, my faith in humanity hasn't been completely restored.

Witness the fact that Fox "news" (I can't even bring myself to capitalize it, though they do) came out on top in the ratings during the Iraqi massacre. You know, on the opening night of the spectacle, March 20 2003, I was sitting in a local club watching the whole thing unfold on multiple news channels; CNN was consistently first in showing and reporting events. They continued this exceptional performance throughout the steamrolling of all of Mesopotamia.

One night last week, I was working late. Ever since the heinous events of September 11, 2001, there has been a large-screen television connected to a satellite dish in the cafeteria at work. I went up to refill my cup of coffee; a couple of engineers were watching Fox. A purported "interview" was occurring on-screen that looked more like the U.S. Marines attacking the Republican Guard. The Fox "news" talking head was berating a United States Congresswoman regarding her views on the war. Apparently he did not agree with her.

This was not reporting. This was not interviewing. This was not even debate. It was bullying.

And that is what you get on Fox. Sensationalist reporting (a little too late, by the way; CNN was there first with the real story) and bullying. The FCC ought to censure them for including the word "News" in their name.

Or, maybe, they should just call themselves "The Fox Weekly World News" and have Page 3 Busty Babes for all the leering rabid viewers who can't handle objective reporting.

Next week: Operation Syrian Steamroller?