first world problems

Last Saturday, Lisa called DirecTV and ordered a service package combining TV, Internet and land-line telephone.

It seemed like a pretty good deal; all of that for $71/month for the first year plus another $100 off stretched over the first ten months. And her mother, as an existing customer, would get $100 for referring us.

The problems began the very first day.

The installation appeared to go smoothly. The technician was installing service to two rooms. Both rooms were already wired for satellite TV and a mounting post was already out in the yard, wired to the house. But we only had one television in the house at the time. The second one was due later that day, when Jeannie and Herbert arrived from Florida with more of our stuff, TV included. The TV in the living room worked perfectly. When Jeannie and Herbert showed up, I hooked up the second TV in the bedroom.

No satellite signal. I ran some diagnostics and reset the box. I checked and rechecked the cable connections. I swapped out cables. No good. By that time it was dark out, so I didn't go down to the cellar to check those cables. I should have gone; we could have watched TV in bed that night.

The fix took about two minutes, including the time it took to open and close the door. Mr. Genius the installation technician had not ensured that the cable going to the bedroom was connected. Instead, the cable that runs to my office - which has no television - was connected.

So now, Day 2, we had TV in the bedroom - but no DVR. OK, that was an oversight on our part. Lisa called and ordered one and it came the next day (today).

And on Day 3 we were wondering when we might be getting our Internet access. It had been part of the package we ordered. The agreed-upon price was already on the DirecTV website when I logged in. I was invited to "Pay Now"," but declined.

Nowhere did I find any itemized description of the charges included in the bill. Just the amount due. Not even any indication that we had even ordered Internet service. Time to pick up the phone.

Surely I should have done my due diligence before jumping into this, but Lisa wanted it and I wanted her to be happy. She is pretty good about getting deals. Unfortunately she (and I) was misinformed, ill-informed and possibly even lied to outright when we ordered our service.

You see, even with a satellite dish provided by a company that claims to provide satellite Internet access, we cannot receive it at our geographical location. Nobody can tell us why, other than "it's not available in our area."

But that didn't stop DirecTV from selling us High-Speed Internet Access.

Furthermore, the fellow who sold it to us didn't even tell us that we would have to contact AT&T to set up telephone and Internet access, and then somehow still pay DirecTV for the privilege!

And so, this afternoon, Lisa called AT&T, who informed her that even they cannot provide any kind of Internet access because, well, I don't know. We have phone lines, why can't we get DSL? Whatever.

Then she called DirecTV. She told them to come and get their equipment and that she does not expect to receive any kind of bill from them. The services provided fell far short of the services advertised and purchased (for God's sake, the "multi-room DVR" isn't even accessible from the bedroom). They seemed amenable enough, once Lisa calmly explained the problem, and agreed to her terms except that they will charge us for two days' service.

Fair enough - if they don't jerk us around.