pity party

O crappy day!

Lisa and I are both feeling very down today. Money is always an issue; but, since she fell last week while walking Rocko, now she is running out of pain meds and muscle relaxers. She called her physician after the incident and he told her to take a certain amount of extra muscle relaxers - but he didn't provide an additional prescription. The greatly increased pain has also forced her to increase her pain meds. She runs out today but doesn't have her monthly appointment until Friday.

I've been out of my antidepressants since last week. I have to pay $90 to see the ARNP and another $10 for the meds. Frank has only been paying me $100 every two weeks, so my whole income will go to the psych center. My appointment was supposed to be two weeks ago, but the money had to cover other bills. Fortunately for me, Lisa was recently switched to one of the pills I take, so I take hers while waiting for my next prescription. I haven't had to miss a day. That doesn't make sitting in a cesspool of my own making any more appetizing than it would typically be. OK, it's not a cesspool, but our swimming pool is pretty darn green.

Sure, things will work out in the end. I have been applying for a lot more jobs lately. They are showing up on the job boards again.

Design work seems ever more unlikely. They need designers, sure, but ones with 7 years experience with optics, or civil engineering, or whatever I lack. Hell, I'd love to be the lowly stock clerk in an electronics factory. That's where it all started and I was damn good in the stockroom. Over the years since I left design work, I've had a lot of different jobs. My favorite, of course, was when I spent three months in a stockroom. Fucked that one up, too, by showing up late too often.

[cue Serenity Prayer]

Then again, our phone and electricity are once again in danger of getting shut off. We should be able to get some kind of public assistance for the electricity; don't know about the phone. But without the phone, we also have no internet - which I need for my job search and for paying bills. Blah, blah, blah. Maybe I should just stick a "Donate via PayPal" button on this page. That'd probably be good for a couple of cents a few times a year. Right now, if I added everything up, we'd need close to a thousand dollars to set everything right. For God's sake, Lisa needs a knee replacement and they won't do it until she pays $77 from last year.

I'm gonna shut up now. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, weeping.